[Loveless] Fangirl

[Original] - Thaw

ORIGINAL STORY - COMPLETE

[Summary]: A frozen heart begins to melt...


[Story behind the story]: Written for a contest in Yaoi-Digest a club in Y!gallery, a few hours before the deadline, because I mixed the dates and thought the contest had already closed. The theme was "cold" and I ended in third place tied with other two entries.

[Notes]: Being written on such a short notice it was kinda rushed but I like the overall result and it was a new experience writing something without a big background on the characters and a different approach in the writing, a more abstract, less explicit form.

[Characters]: An old vampire and a young, persistent human.
[Genre/Theme]: Romance, Slash, Vampires
[Content/Warnings]: Just a bit of angst and some smexing.
[Rating]: R
[Done]: June.2007
[Edited]: 14.October.2008
[Beta]: not beta-read
[Word Count]: 1005

[Disclaimer]: Although they were not named, both characters are a product of my imagination. Do not use without permission.



An inclement glacial wind howls in the night. Twirls of snow ripped from the treetops fall to the ground adding to the immense whiteness that extends as far as the eye can see, beyond the grim, green, dark forest to the distant, glacial, frozen mountains.

The fleeting blue and light-grey clouds languidly cover the cold silver moon, threatening snow. To the common eye the forest seems as dark as a raven’s feathers; if the moon is unveiled, a world of frightening shadows rises into view, hiding all sorts of imaginary nightmare creatures ready to devour the souls and bodies of the imprudent that wander into this wilderness. To his eyes it is a gelid, cruel world of death and survival, nothing more.


In the highest floor of the small stone-covered mansion a window opens to the winter night, piles of snow, enough to make a snowman, gather by the beautifully intricate forged-iron designs of the balustrade and on top of the wooden rail. A gush of wind scatters it inside, across the marble floor to the white woolen carpet set in front of a crackling fire.


The boy under him trembles, he’s not sure if from the freezing wind from outside or his cold fingers grazing the boy’s neckline. They lie on the carpet, one on top of the other, naked, lustful and craving. The boy’s warm blushed skin a blaring contrast on his wan, stone like skin. He lavishes his eyes and hands all over the young, firm, no longer innocent body and watches him squirm and writhe impatiently, the body cooling in direct contact with his algid hands.



Cold was something that had long ago ceased to bother his skin; his heart too had been long frozen. Cold, apathetic, unreachable, DEAD! But then his death was disturbed by a bold, daring and curious boy, who dared to wander into the wilderness forsaking the folktales and myths, who hadn’t fear his feral looks and menacing glares, who was now melting the lump of ice that taken place as his heart.


He leans closer, kissing warm, life filled lips, yearning some of that heat for himself; the boy presses his lips harder, his flame-like tongue seeking the iciness of the other tongue and the thrill of sharp, piercing fangs. The killer mouth trails perilously down the jaw and into the hunting area, elating exited gasps and when the boy shivers, he still doesn't know if it's from the cold or his actions.



He led a life of hunting, never caring for anything but his own satisfaction and survival. He killed indiscriminately, passionless, indifferent to the victim. Detached of feelings for centuries his already cold heart turned cruel, selfish and malevolent.



The fiend in him rejoices with the easy prey: the throbbing nectar inside, the burning red skin against his stone, frosty one, the lustful thoughts emerging from this naïve mind. All so tempting and attainable in one simple, fluid, inclement movement. He controls his predatorily instinct, his watering mouth roaming away to safer zones, lingering there, for an undetermined amount of time, by sheer force of mind.



Then suddenly like an ice picker through his heart this young man, no more than twenty, a child in his eyes, came into his life challenging all he believed in, the thirty nine decades he’d been alive, and shattered it all just by staying close, not scared of the beast that he is.



Fingers trail his long, black-as-the-night hair caressing its softness, pulling his head up and their bodies closer. He searches for the hot mouth again, this time not resisting he bites the tip of the boys tongue; the boy recedes, at first surprise and alarm are on his face, a line of blood trickles down his jaw, reaching the chin and dripping to the white carpet, the contrast striking. Then a consenting, sly smile appears on his face, his body inching closer, no space between them.



He tried very hard to keep the boy away; he liked to think so. The devil in him seemed appeased if he thinks that way, too many years of loneliness and of a cold heart could not be crushed so easily in a matters of months! Of course the first few were of absolute torture to the boy; he teased and played him, like the prey he was, to the point of no return. But still he stood there, by him, claiming to the world they belonged together.



The hot metallic flavor floods his senses, he is on the brink of losing his mind but cool pools of green bring him back from the monster inside. He stares into those loving eyes, the gelidness dissipating but his desire unleashes and he strikes.



Before he noticed the thaw had begun, he no longer could torture the boy and get away with it, a weird sensation would take hold of him; he would feel miserable and a heavy weight would press his chest. Even the sex was tuning into more than simple release; he was feeling again! The eerie sound of the crackling ice was heard for miles the moment the boy had utter those three little words. I LOVE YOU!



Their bodies - cold and warm - press together in urgency and want, kissing, caressing; hands running up and down strong, defined muscles. Their tongues playfully teasing every entrance and soft spot; shivers - this time of pleasure, he is absolutely sure – run down their spines. Hands roaming aimlessly till neglected places are tugged, clutched and spoiled; necks nuzzled and kissed and petted. Their mouths filled in censured appetites, handled smoothly to appease eager desires. Their members clutched, nestled and loved; hips thrusting to the rhythm of completion.


Lying on top of each other sated, panting and recovering, there is only one thing left to do. He presses his face to the boy’s warm, throbbing neck, nuzzling, inhaling the lively fragrance, his lips kissing softly, nibbling and then his fangs strategically placed, graze the skin as he whispers: I LOVE YOU!

June2007
October2008©MarinLiliz
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  • Current Music: My 12yo neighbour murdering James Brown's "I Feel Good"
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absolutely beautiful imagery ... very believable ... I could see them in my minds eye kind of writing, which I love.

only one typo that I found in the whole thing, in this sentence: Of course the first few were of absolute torture to the boy; he teased and played him, like the pray he was, to the point of no return.

pray should be prey

other than that, flawless.
Thank you.;] I am quite proud of this little piece here, it was one of those rare times when things worked exactly as I wanted. It is good to know it comes out as believable.

And thanks for spotting that typo.♥ *is fixed*
definitely believable ... you should maybe submit to a magazine or something, try to get it published. it's very good.

and you're welcome.
gah *is glomped* ... lol ... I'm in a publishy mood ... I've been doing a lot of work on my novel (finished first draft on sun and been doing rewrites since) and it gets me kinda giddy goofy happy.
Publishing mode is good as is being giddy goofy happy about it.>.< Good luck with rewriting and publishing.

Btw do you know any magazines or the like where one could publish such a story? I'm a avid reader by I mainly stay on LJ. *has to investigate*
lol .. thanx ... I'll need it ... got a good 5 chaps to rewrite to get the story to line up right.

hmmm mags to publish this kinda story in ... not really ... nothing that I've seen come into my store, but there's gotta be something out there that you could submit to. good luck with that.
Very good! I myself am mostly a lurker reader. I write sometimes, but they become epic saga's that stay in my head because I'm to lazy to write.

Anyway, I feel like maybe the vampire would have whispered the I love you? Or did he and you were just expressing his passion or somethin'? It doesn't really matter, just my interpretation.

Oh, and one little thing that niggled.

“…creatures ready to devour the souls and bodies of the imprudent that wander into this wilderness…”

Imprudent works, but in the context of the sentence it just doesn't seem dramatic enough, ya know? I wish I could think of a better word for you, but I'm blanking.

Sorry about all this, I suddenly have an editing and inspiring bug. XD Your story just happened to be the next on my reading list. XPP

Anyway, great job, keep it up! ^_^
I know exactly what you mean by stories becoming epic sagas, I tend to do that also, but this one just composed itself into a nice, small piece. Everything else just beyond control.:p

And the vampire does whisper the 'I love you'. I put it in caps cos it is a decisive moment for him, the final shattering of the ice in his heart.

About the imprudent, maybe you're right, I'll have to think about it; and no worries I always welcome the input from readers, especially if the piece hasn't been beta-read, like this one.

Thank you for reading and leaving a word or two.;]